Expect Nothing!!

This past week our pastor talked about global missions. I was stunned by how we can relate it to adoption. Especially one of the bullet points, expect nothing. So many times we go into parenthood via birth or adoption with expectations. Yes we may not think we do, but we do. 

One of the major expectations I have had as a parent is that I will love my child and they will love me. Most of the time that is true. However, I have experienced that to not always being the case. Not all the time do they love you or even want you in their life. Then in return it makes it a little difficult to love them back when you keep getting rejected! You can then start thinking of the future in a negative way. I did. 

Then comes Grace, wonderful Grace. God lavishes us with it! Yet it is so hard to lavish ourselves with it. Because I was thinking in a negative way I was not showing myself grace let alone my child. We must open our eyes to the joy God has for us, what is amazing is He always has it for us.

Remember that I said our pastor's bullet point was expect nothing. Well he then scratched it out and wrote over it, Expect EVERYTHING! Yes, with God's grace we can expect everything. Everything for His glory. God is always faithful, but He does not promise no pain. Yet through the pain we grow and see Him more closely.

Do I have an Eternal Perspective?

Notes have been sent home saying our child needs to focus. I laugh because that is a struggle at home too. Every day we must teach over and over things like brushing hair, putting away clothes, making a bed, and how to shower. Some nights I want to shout, “Don’t you get it yet; rinse your hair before you get out of the shower!” I do not, but I have an irritated demeanor. My look, my nonverbal communication says it all. I walk away after putting child to bed with a sigh and then I go focus on my next task at hand.

Yet tonight it hits me like a ton of bricks. When I am so irritated with this child for lack of focusing, I’m doing the same thing…not focusing. What!? Yes, I am not focusing on an eternal perspective. I am so easily distracted by the cares, concerns, business, and rushing of my day to even begin to have the eternal viewpoint always in front of me! The times I do it is amazing. I respond in love and peace. I shower grace and don’t lose my cool. I feel calm and joyful. Grace. What a beautiful word!

Yep I need some of that grace myself! My Lord helps me to keep an eternal perspective at all times and to respond with grace and love. AMEN

Life song can only be heard when I am still!

It has been a long time since I have updated my blog. God has been working in the life of my family and in me personally. For almost a full 8 weeks I did not get a reprieve from a migraine. Some days were very bad and other days it was tolerable.  I have gone to every doctor and none of the medication they have given me has helped and in fact has caused more major issues.

My husband and children have been great through all this. They have seen me through a lot and put up with me not being able to be my normal self. Now I am learning a new normal. Lately over the counter medications have been working when I feel one starting. I feel all the time like another one could come on any minute. Many tests are still being done. I have taken myself off of dairy and it seems to be helping. The other day I had some dairy and got a migraine a few hours later.

The exciting thing through all of this is how the Lord has been working. I feel like he has opened my heart and let me peer into it with Him. Honestly, it wasn't pretty and my Father showed me some areas I need to improve in. I've always been a woman who would get things done, always ready to help wherever, and always doing something. Don’t get me wrong sometimes these are good, but in my case the motives behind my actions, primarily not glorifying my Lord, is a concern.

Here is the thing…I would not have been open to listening to Him if I wasn't knocked off my feet! Yet He is showering me with grace that I am unwilling at times to give to myself. If we do NOT be still we miss beautiful music of birds, the feel of velvety ears of a Pug, the awing view of the radiant Sun, and as for me the loving correction and wise instruction of my amazing Lord. He has a great purpose in my migraines and if I must endure pain for this short life than He will give me the strength and joy through it all.

"Oh no I'm caught!"

It is just plain hard being a mom, let alone being one with six. I have been overwhelmed with responsibilities and pressures from others and myself. Honestly, I would advise anyone who has older kids to not adopt three kids at once. Life has been tough. I have learned I’m not perfect and in some situations I am totally unqualified to handle it. Too many people have called me “Super Mom” or that I inspire them…only God can inspire you. Thank you Jesus that He uses me, but please don’t praise me…give glory to God. I say this because I am just plain weak.  God gives me strength and encourages me and that is the only way I get through. I’m learning (key word…learning!) to stop having expectations of children’s behaviors changing and generously shower them and me with grace.

I’m growing, changing, and excited about it. More and more my desire is turning towards God and He is showing me that He has work for me. That work centers around my husband and children. So here I go as a weak person, not having all the answers, on a journey to glorify my God. I know I will fall for I am not perfect, but my God is forgiving, faithful and will graciously pick me up. I must be still to hear my life song!

Life can be "Messy!"

Love the phrase, “Life is messy!” It is so true. The last two weeks have been messy at the Myers’ home. Not just figuratively, but also literally! Anyone want to volunteer a maid service? I will graciously accept!

When things are “messy” is it important how we respond to the mess. The Flu circulated in our house for over a week, an ER run with David yesterday, and today is my 7^th day with a migraine. Responding without frustration has been challenging. Oh could I come up with excuses to respond in an impatient manner. Yeah my head hurts bad and I’m not thinking right! However, Jesus has called us to be His representatives, a royal priesthood.

God has really been showing me to stay focused on Him at all times. Today I was washing windows when I actually started thinking good of myself. I hear that whisper in my ear, “Boy you sure are cleaning this good. Look at that window. I bet people think you are quite a servant.” OH MY! How Satan likes to attack our ego! Immediately I started saying out loud, “I’m doing this for your glory Lord.” The whispers stopped.

Why do I share this? I really think with our Harvest Bible Chapel West Davenport Campus Launch coming in a week we are under a MAJOR spiritual attack. Satan does not like what we have undertaken. He wants to destroy us from within. We have approximately 80 people on our launch team. The evil one wants to destroy our relationships with each other and within our families. Make us ineffective. Ineffective to reach hurting people for the Lord Almighty. They are searching, watching, hearts are softening. A revival is knocking at our doors…are we going to answer in our own hearts so we can start a spiritual awakening in our town?

Our family will not bend to discouragement! Our family will not bend low to self-glory! My friends be aware! Put on your armor! We have already won! Christ has WON friends and we need to be strong against the enemy and fight for every lost soul. Do we need to Repent ourselves? Do we need to Pray more?

I faultier too often. Search me OH LORD! I don’t keep my eyes on the prize…I look down too much. I am so thankful to friends and family that encourage me and spur me on. One is Autumn and Jeremy Hickman. They are a great encouragement and I love them so much. Their love for the lost is contagious. Thank you Lord for people like them!

Keep our eyes on the prize. Philippians 3:14 “I press on towards the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

LETS ROLL!

Expectations...

Warning (this was written without checking typos!)

Expectations. We all have them. We have expectations of how someone should act. That our spouse, parent, or friend to know what we are thinking or wanting. There are expectations that our God should do this or that in our lives or someone else life. Hopes are dashed when those expectations are not met. Anger can set in and disappointment in the relationship.

Why? We don’t just develop it come adulthood. It is very evident even in the very young. Many times it comes out as control. I notice this the most in my 7 year old. She will ask for something in such a roundabout way that I don’t know exactly what she is wanting. Like she will tell me a sprinkle got caught in between her tooth and that she got it out. So I’ll say okay. But then her disappointed look that she tries to hide gives me a clue something is wrong. Taking much time and tender questioning I discover she wanted me to kiss her.

Aren't we the same as adults?! We just don’t come out and say what we need or are thinking. Then when someone doesn't do what we wanted we pout. Sometimes I see we hint or skirt around the issues to control someone. Boy do we learn it young. Yet also we hint or skirt because we don’t trust that our needs will be met. Yes our “needs” may not be really a need, but that is how we feel at the time. So we avoid coming right out and saying what we “want” or “need” because we are not trusting the person filling it.

So what is all this jabbering going? My thoughts are this. When we either want to control someone or plain just don’t trust someone it leads us down a path of losing joy.  JOY. We choose to lose joy. So many times we get wrapped up into our wants and needs and forget Who is in charge and knows all. God loves us more than anyone or even more than we can love ourselves! Does He not know our thoughts? Is He not the One who made us?

Psm. 9:10 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Psm. 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
1 Cor. 13: 6-7 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always, hopes, always perseveres.

Need I say more? God is so amazing and is always there for us. How do we get trust then get joy? Could it be as simple as starting with thankfulness to our Father? Really? Well I just read a book by Ann  Voskamp called “One Thousand Gifts” and that is her book in a nutshell. I highly recommend it. I have started really taking more time in my day to tell my Creator that I thank him for so many things. In the process I start to find joy, trust, love. Yes I have really struggled with love for my kids at times. Stopping and thanking God for all the He has done…like beautiful brown eyes, freckles on a face, giggles in the morning, smell of pancakes cooking…God brings us not only JOY during those tough times, but Love for those sometimes hard to love. Yes even those hard to love because of my expectation on how they should act. OK I said it…I expect certain behaviors after I have trained and spent tons of time. But they are human…like me. Thankfulness brings me joy in the moment and love.

Thank you God for your love and joy!

New Path for Our Family...

WOW! It has been awhile since I have written anything. One word: life. MMM that is a little boring. Let me try again….

The morning dawns into a beautiful day. An hour I get to snuggle into my warm comfy chair and study God’s Word and I am washed with sweet peace. I hear the gentle voices of my two boys waking up from a wonderful night’s rest. I go into to my adorable boys’ room and I am greeted with cuddles and the wonderful aroma of clean boys. The older girls get up and greet me with warm hugs and sweet kisses. They go into the kitchen giggling and work together to make breakfast for all of us.

Who am I kidding! Life is….wrestling with the convictions my Bible study does to me, loud noises fill the early morning from pee smelling boys, girls refusing to wake up and yell at each other.  Yes that is life…no fluff here.

The last few months have been hard. Joy. Grace. Mercy. Those three words have been constantly on my mind.

I have really struggled with being a confident, inspiring teacher and loving, attentive mother to all my children. I am exhausted. The challenge of training up teenager girls is in itself is HARD. On top of it being a loving, calm mother to children that not only wear you out physically, but mentally trying to understand why they behave the way they do.

One area in our life that has been very challenging has home-schooling Beth. I could go into how it is challenging and give details of what we have tried. However, I am not going to. What I want to just share with all of you is that we have made a VERY hard decision to send Beth to public school…at least for this semester.

Am I seeking advice…um NO! Joe and I have prayed and have taken lots of time to decide this. We are excited to see where this leads us. Beth is very excited and so am I!

God has showed me how to have joy in all circumstances. This does not mean that I choose every time to have joy. He also has showed me to give myself grace. It is so easy when children are fighting and behaviors seem more than I can bear to put lots of blame on myself. You know I must be doing something wrong if my children are not acting like “so and so’s” kids that seem so sweet. (Key word is “seem”) Please tell me I am not the only one with kids that aren’t perfect? We all have sin…right? Now if I can just grasp always finding the joy in what God has in store for me. This ride may be hard, but in many ways it is surprisingly FUN!

Through all this “life” I have been amazed how Jesus has been showing me the true meanings of joy, grace and mercy. My eyes have really been opening up to seeing the joys in my life, how I can show grace and how people show me grace, and oh the mercy I need!! Lord thank you for showing me and loving me!

View of Adoption from 6 and 4 year olds

So yesterday was Wesley's 2nd year Gotcha Day. Hard to believe it has been two years. All three children are growing up quickly and we are all molding together as a family better each day. I decided to ask David and Beth some questions today to see what their point of view on being a Myers. Wesley still is not talking much so I could not ask him. Enjoy!

I asked Beth these questions:
Me: "What do you like about being adopted?"
Beth: "I like that we get to be a family together. I like sharing a room with my sister and sometimes getting to sleep with her. I like having a house and our new play house outside."
Me: "What do you not like about being adopted?"
Beth: "I like being adopted, it's fun."
Me: "What is fun about it?"
Beth: "I get to play with my brothers and live in our house."
Me: "What makes you happy?"
Beth: "Sharing a room with Hannah."
Me: "What makes you sad?"
Beth: "When I have to go in time out or go to sleep early, because I disobeyed or when I don't get to play with our new playhouse."


I asked David these questions: (keeping a straight face was hard!)
Me: "What do you like about being in this family?"
David: "It is awesome and I like this family. It is so good and God said it is good and He loves us and died for our sins. This world is for God."
Me: "What makes you happy?"
David: "A toy, my brother, sisters, bed, a horse, Winn-a-Pooh, lion, Puffle, Mommy and Daddy."
Me: "What makes you sad?"
David: "When my brother takes my toy and hits me. When daddy is gone to work. When I have a bad dream. When you and Sarah were gone, it made me so sad." That last part was said in a very sad tone.