Smiles and Giggles

Holy cow parenting is just plan hard, yet so many different rewards. That cute little smile you get when you hand them a special treat, that hug that was unexpected, those adorable giggles you hear when you tickle their tummies. Yet I have felt I have been so consumed with just the necessities of life and then my health. I won’t go into many details, but the migraines are not being very helpful in my job as a mom.

So something had to change. I have to be a loving caring mom. When I include trying to teach 4 children academics, deal with behaviors several times during the teaching process, keep up with household chores, insurance calls, therapy visits, migraines, and much more I could not breath, let alone be a caring mom. I am NOT "Supermom" and I am really tired of people saying, “Wow I could not do that. I just think what you are doing for these kids is so amazing.” Ugh…if they only knew that my super cape flew out the carpool window years ago. I am tired and worn out. My emotional, physical and mental tank has been sucking on fumes.

Change has happened. We enrolled our 3^rd and 1^st graders into public school. *sigh* Hard decision, yet a peace about it. Yes all the paperwork that comes with that was an added stress, but it is done. Adjusting to the new schedule has been hard, but do-able.

It has been 2 weeks and I am just now starting to feel less stress. I have more time to teach and love on my older girls. I joined a fitness place and I am starting to work-out more. The kids are loving it and they seem to have gotten great teachers. In fact the older girls are LOVING it too. They get more time with me and the quiet. Yes the "I can think" quiet in the mornings are astounding!

Now I feel like I can enjoy and even notices those rewards of being a mom. You know; those cute smiles and giggles, the “thanks mom”, “love you mom”, the boo-boos that only I can heal. Yes, I am blessed. I took the advice of a great person, “You need to put your oxygen mask on before you can put one onto your kids.” Thanks!

Are you Ready to be Uncomfortable?

You see them on TV, on billboards, and on the internet.  Songs have been sung about them. We all get caught up in the emotional pleas. We get excited about the ideals of the cause. What am I talking about? The plight of the orphan.

Our hearts break hearing their stories and we want to spring to action to help them. Some are orphaned by physically losing their mother and father. Some lost their parents because the government had to take them away to protect them. Others lose their parents because of the parents not having the resources to take care of them. No matter what the cause of them being an orphan they ALL have experienced some type of LOSS.

Loss affects us all emotionally. It shapes us, makes us who we are today. Loss is hard; some not has hard as others. Like losing my phone is nothing in light of losing my dad. Yet they both changed me. Now I am more careful with my phone and well I am still dealing with the loss of my dad, but it has changed me.

You may be saying, “Yes I know all this.” I am bringing this up to just point out a few things to those you who are possibly considering adoption.

Adoption is a God thing. He has adopted those who ask for His forgiveness and follow Him. He tells us to take care of the widows and orphans...it is a command. Adoption is a beautiful picture of redemption and restoration.

To have redemption and restoration that means there has to of been brokenness and pain. Pain that goes VERY deep; deep into crevices that usually take a long time to even find let alone start on the healing process. Some children block the events, the pain. If the child was non-verbal at the time of the event/pain than those hidden crevices are even harder to discover. (This is what we are experiencing right now with one of our children.)

No matter who you are in the family you will be affected. Many times it is not discussed, but the biological children will greatly suffer. At time too much! Do I believe it will make them a better person in the end? Yes, but at a cost. All involved will gain some scars from the hurt that was foolishly given to these children.

The reason for adoption is not pretty and also the process of adjusting and healing also is not very pretty. You know those commercials you watch that there is that child waiting for you? We cry and want to take that child home, cloth, bath, and feed him. Those kids do need us,  a forever family, but realize those commercials tug at our heartstrings, but the real world of adoption is not sweet and the child is not happy at first to be with you. It is hard, down in the trenches hard. And no it is not just for a year or two of adjustment either. It is a daily, year around, forever adjustment. Your life will never be the same and either will any bio children, grandparents, and others you are close to.

Yes this process isn’t pretty, but life isn’t either…it is MESSY! Are you ready to be on a rocky adventure? Are you ready to change your life and others around you (and I am not talking about rainbows and friendly unicorn kind of change)? Are you ready to be shunned by some people? Are you ready to be uncomfortable? Then welcome to adoption! Make sure you have good people support,  good running shoes, and your seat belt securely fastened!

Perspective and Showers

This morning I took a shower. Wow, right?! No, really, it was amazing and very note worthy. I took this shower without worrying about someone hitting a dog, yelling at a sibling, banging on the bathroom door (or wall), or any screaming about something that was "unfair".

Why was this shower so different than many others? Well, my husband and I had to make a very hard decision. That was to put our 7 year old and 8 year old in public school. They started Wednesday. On Thursday they started riding the bus.

I did not realize until this morning's shower how tense I have been. I am a go get'er kind of person. I jump in and get'er done. Yep....my body has paid for it. Migraines, female issues, and digestive problems.

A new path with bumps along the way lay before me, but I see hope. I have freedom to be more of a mom to my all my kids. A calmer mommy, a mommy with people to carry some of the burden I have been carrying.

Our 7 and 8 year old has behavior issues that are really hard to handle and they require attention ALL the time. I can't turn my back or something WILL happen.

Yep, I am breathing much better and enjoying finally getting to catch up on some work around the house. Heck, who knows I might even get to Blog more!