WOW! It has been awhile since I have written anything. One
word: life. MMM that is a little boring. Let me try again….
The morning dawns into a beautiful day. An hour I get to
snuggle into my warm comfy chair and study God’s Word and I am washed with sweet
peace. I hear the gentle voices of my two boys waking up from a wonderful
night’s rest. I go into to my adorable boys’ room and I am greeted with cuddles
and the wonderful aroma of clean boys. The older girls get up and greet me with
warm hugs and sweet kisses. They go into the kitchen giggling and work together
to make breakfast for all of us.
Who am I kidding! Life is….wrestling with the convictions my
Bible study does to me, loud noises fill the early morning from pee smelling
boys, girls refusing to wake up and yell at each other. Yes that is life…no fluff here.
The last few months have been hard. Joy. Grace. Mercy. Those
three words have been constantly on my mind.
I have really struggled with being a confident, inspiring
teacher and loving, attentive mother to all my children. I am exhausted. The challenge
of training up teenager girls is in itself is HARD. On top of it being a
loving, calm mother to children that not only wear you out physically, but
mentally trying to understand why they behave the way they do.
One area in our life that has been very challenging has
home-schooling Beth. I could go into how it is challenging and give details of
what we have tried. However, I am not going to. What I want to just share with
all of you is that we have made a VERY hard decision to send Beth to public
school…at least for this semester.
Am I seeking advice…um NO! Joe and I have prayed and have
taken lots of time to decide this. We are excited to see where this leads us.
Beth is very excited and so am I!
God has showed me how to have joy in all circumstances. This
does not mean that I choose every time to have joy. He also has showed me to
give myself grace. It is so easy when children are fighting and behaviors seem
more than I can bear to put lots of blame on myself. You know I must be doing
something wrong if my children are not acting like “so and so’s” kids that seem
so sweet. (Key word is “seem”) Please tell me I am not the only one with kids
that aren’t perfect? We all have sin…right? Now if I can just grasp always
finding the joy in what God has in store for me. This ride may be hard, but in
many ways it is surprisingly FUN!
Through all this “life” I have been amazed how Jesus has
been showing me the true meanings of joy, grace and mercy. My eyes have really
been opening up to seeing the joys in my life, how I can show grace and how
people show me grace, and oh the mercy I need!! Lord thank you for showing me
and loving me!
