By the Grace of God go I

 I would like to share my thoughts with you today. 

It is amazing any more how time just flies by. It always reminds me of the song SOON by Hillsong that goes, “Soon and very soon. I will be with the One I love.” This gives me a sense of urgency. I want to always be alert to the fact that my time here on earth is short. Am I using my time wisely? What are my concerns in this life that I am focusing on? How much of an impact am I making in those around me? Can you even measure those things?

Yesterday Joe and I were talking about the changes all six of our children have gone through lately. Not just physical changes, but emotional and spiritual too. All those questions above were not in my mind at the time. Our three birth children are maturing before our eyes. We can see ever so slightly the transition from our faith to their faith. In other words they are owning their faith more and more. I see compassion for others coming from them and desire to see people come to a realization of their sins. What is really exciting is I am seeing a deeper bond with us as a family that is starting to unify us for the glory of God.

The bond as a whole family has impacted all of us. Beth is finally bonding with me! It has taken a lot of hard work to start seeing some fruit. I had to choose to love when it was really hard to love. Through those times she kept pushing me and pushing me away. Every time I got close reaching her emotionally she would push me away with a behavior to be honest was Ugly. We still has a way to go, but we are getting there one step at a time.

So back to how I started this post. Can we measure? I think changes are a good way of measuring…small and big. I could throw away all these changes and fuzzy feeling in the dump if God is not the author of these changes. God gets all the glory for any of these. We are in a battle even during these seemingly peaceful times. Satan is lurking, wanting to get our focus off of God because he knows that song is true above. What impact can we make here on earth before we are gone?  I look forward to falling at the feet of my savior, but I want to be able to look Him in the eye too!

Let us spread the good news of the gospel to everyone we meet. Be bold! Love mercy and seek justice! I want to start here to train up my little soldiers to be mighty warriors for God. I need to make sure my training manual is being used and my kids know why they are here for a short time on this earth. By the grace of God go I …how about you?

My thoughts...

I have never been a play-it-safe or timid kind of person. I jump right into something and get-r-done. However, yesterday morning during my Bible time I realized something. I always thought I was that way with my faith, however.... In an earthly sense I am, but comparing it to God's spiritual sense I am or have not been. WQhen God has laid it upon my heart to take a step in faith I do, but a step then I had two or three. I PLAN ahead. Yes I am a planner. I have a course of action all the time. Problem is God did not give me that second or third step when He told me to take that step. That was my own desire not His. 

I want to have that Resurrection faith, the faith that says, "Lord I am taking that step you have asked me to." ...then I WAIT! Wait for Him to guide me in the next step. I have done this on occasions and have been blessed, but many times I get too antsy and jump the gun. That is when the frustration in my circumstance starts. Starting today, right now Lord, I submit fully to listening and waiting for your voice. To follow in your footsteps. To turn to you before I step.

How does this effect my life? There are many areas as a parent and wife. Right now it has affected my home-school all year long. Why did it take me so long to learn?! Re-focusing is happening today. Starting today I wait...with anticipation!!

Lessons From a Little Tooth

I am so blessed to have a man to remind me to not take things personal. Today we had a great day doing school. All four of the younger crew really worked hard at doing school and letting others learn while I taught.  Then the day got really interesting. I was doing the last subject with Beth when I saw something odd with her mouth. I looked in her mouth and discovered a tooth missing and it had been gone for a while because the gum was healed. I asked her about it and she got silent. When she finally spoke she could not remember when it fell out, but she knew it was in the trash in her room. I hid my shock and how annoyed I was as much as I could. Yes, she had been told that her teeth would come out some day so why would she not tell me?

I went and called my man for advice. He graciously reminded me of the 4 year past before we were blessed with her. She was in fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what I would do. Fear that her tooth would never come back. FEAR! It is still an automatic response for her. Trust is coming, but it is slow coming. The exciting thing in all of this is what followed! Beth and I had an amazing talk! She realizes now that she does not have to be alone or be in fear. Trust will come. I know I will have to remind her many more times, but this is one more step forward! Beth’s response to our talk was excitement and pure joy. We celebrated and as I type this she is trying really hard to fall asleep so the tooth fairy will come…yes she knows it is mommy!

This brings me to what I reinforced in my mind today. What should be our response to this verse? "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10 ESV

We should have the same response that Beth had, excitement and joy. Worshipful joy! Along with that we should celebrate! We do not need to fear because God...wait a minute I am talking about GOD, the Mighty One, the King of kings will NOT leave you or even me! Our Father is the perfect example for us as parents. All this over a little lost tooth!

Birth Children's Struggle in Adoption

You are about to read the heart of our birth children. It may offend some of you, but they are just expressing their feelings. They are not perfect and God is working in our girls more than ever. This adoption has transformed our lives even more than they can see at their young age. God is revealing things in their lives daily and my (all) children are seeing God work on a daily bases.  Please show grace as you read these, but also I hope these open your eyes to the struggling side of adoption. You may ask would we do it again after reading this. By the grace of our Heavenly Father...YES! In fact the girls are already asking when we will do it again.

From Hannah age 11…

When we got the kids they were trouble makers. Beth was sweet and loved me so much.  But when she moved in she ignored, copycatted, annoyed, and lied to me and more of that kid stuff. David was cute but now he is starting doing all what Beth does. Wesley he’s cute but he cries so much. All year it was wild but after Winter Jam I changed and I can see that I am nicer to the kids. If God was not in me I would be mean to them and I wouldn’t ask God to help me with any troubles with the kids. This year I’m very ahead in school even with the little kids around. I always wanted to be a big sister. Now I have loving siblings and my dream came true. 

Rachel (age 14)

A year ago, in a court room... three kids were being adopted…by my parents. Never once would my family go back down to five, a forever family. August of 2010 is when we had the three little ones placed in our homes. Before we had them in our home we knew the little girl and boy because we knew the little girl's foster parents from church.

In the spring of 2010 my parents had a family meeting with me and my two other sisters. They told us they were going to try to adopt the little girl. I and my sisters were so happy. Finally we would have another little sister! So first my parents had to take classes. Then we found out the little girl, 'Beth' had two brothers in another foster home, so now we would get them. Yip-pi we get brothers! Then we had to sell our cars and get bigger ones, buy clothes, and then the Lord provided us a fourth bedroom. We also had to sacrifice getting rid of some animals, stuff, space, quietness, and quality time with our parents, just for them. Before we had the kids placed in our homes, Beth was a sweet little girl. After they were placed her true inside showed, she would manipulate you, lie, and copy. Yes she hurt me and my sisters a lot but we got through it. Looking back I see that she has improved quite a lot. Another struggle was David, he would bite, scream, kick, and be rude. But still we showered him with love, and he has improved also. Another struggle is when we talk to people or visit or have friends over. They just seem to cuddle and give so much attention to the little kids and we are left in the corner. Only thing people really talked about with us older ones was all about the adoption and about how cute they were. I'm sick of talking about the adoption. 

   Good things have come to the adoption though, 1st is that these siblings have a family and home, 2nd my little siblings are great helpers, 3rd is bigger family means more love.        

Sarah (age 15)

Nobody can truly understand the concept of unconditional love. Yet it is confusing at times. My family has learned and grown more in this love. An adoption can bring hardship, joy, closeness, and unity. The one thing that it makes you struggle with is how to love someone, who is unsure to love you back. When my family adopted, I thought everything was going to be right and dandy. It wasn’t. Being a teenager and then suddenly you have to share love with five siblings is hard. I wanted alone time, because I didn’t want to mess up when I interacted with them. Through all of this I have learned that you need to search yourself to find any faults and fix them with God’s help. It makes getting along a lot easier. Then through God find your explanation of unconditional love and demonstrate it to the kids. I have been blessed by seeing the hand of God in my life and my parents’ life.

How am I going to RESPOND???

Life is a struggle. God is continually seeking me in areas that I sin and showing me His grace and mercy. Why do I allow these struggles to bring me down? Why do I allow my little world to push me into sin and abandon my Father? Why do I not run to Him in times of struggle, but run to anger, sadness, and/or down right just want to give up?

Can you tell I have been in a struggle lately? God wants me to rely upon Him, but my first reaction is one or the entire list above. God is gracious and keeps seeking me when I don’t seek Him. My struggles are just plain overwhelming at time…or should I say I allow them to overwhelm me.

Sarah is going to community college in the fall for her senior year of High School. Trying to get her done with this year of school is a….challenge. A lot is on her plate. Rachel loves many subjects, but Algebra is not one of them. I feel like a dictator trying to enforce math time. On top of teaching I have two very active boys that will not allow school/teaching to occur at times. I maybe get in one good day of school a week. Hannah is right on schedule with her subjects except for one and Beth is behind like her older sisters.

 I feel a little like drowning…I do not like the feeling. So what do I do? I get overwhelmed. I stand here and look around and don’t know where to even start…did I mention that my house is a mess and I have other pressing matters to attend to also? Then I read where my Father, Creator, King is seeking me even through all this. I have to stop and think “what is it I truly am wanting”…I want more of Him! People may judge me for a messy house or kids that don’t know Algebra, but dog gone it I WANT to know my Heavenly Father that I will spend eternity with! I long for His arms and to learn more of His greatness. I want my children to know and desire Him also. Where are my priorities here on earthly things or heavenly things? I don’t have all the answers to my schooling or children’s behavioral issues, but what I do know is this earth and the desires of this earth is fleeting and totally temporal. My struggles are temporal! I want to make the best of my time here on earth for His kingdom. I am a missionary to my kids, husband and the friends God places me with. How am I going to respond?

A FEW THOUGHTS

A few things have been on my mind lately and I just wanted to share.

First I wonder if we as a society (worldly and Christian) realize how we have put such an importance on motherly instincts to the point that we have distanced precious women that have not giving physical birth.  Shame on us! Let me right now apologize for those times I have done this. I want to put a stop to this myth that only if you have giving birth do you have these instincts! They (instincts) are truly a gift from God not just because I have carried a child for 9 months or so! I can testify to it! We all are going to scratch our head to why a baby is crying or why our older child is lying, but there are those times that I do KNOW why! When it happens I believe it is not this magical instinct, but a true gift from God. It happens with my birth children and my adopted children. In fact I have experienced it even more profound with my adopted children which on some days just blow me away! So if a mom (birth or adopted) ask you not to hold or feed her baby, to allow her to only comfort her little one, or not to let her child lead the line in Sunday School realize that God has given her the responsibility to raise that child and “instinct” to know how to do it right! Don’t lean over and say after I just corrected my son for a sin and tell him it is ok we all make mistakes! I am the mom not you! You may scratch your head as to why, but it really isn’t your right to even ask why. Just give God the glory that our God has gifted this mom and not YOU for this particular child!!!

Second how would you define yourself? As a mom (I just defined myself) I wonder how my kids would answer. I know they would answer differently during the changes in their life, but my point is there are many things I do not want them to define themselves and one that I want them to always to do. I am a follower of the Most High God! Yes I am a mom, wife, sister, and daughter, but I want to be known as a person who is like my Savior. I also desire with all my heart that my children do too!

 I think about how the world wants to define my kids. I get looks for many labels/defining that people put on us like homeschool and big family. Homeschooling can have a VERY negative response in some circles and positive in some others. With my three oldest I have almost always heard great things about them. One day I heard a very negative thing about my oldest. Mother bear wanted to come out because it was not said in love to me, but God did a work in my and her heart that day. We set out to make sure that if this accusation/defining had some truth in it. I wanted come alongside her and help her grow in that area. It ended up being untruth.  

You know it got me thinking about the world’s perspective on adopted children. There biggest reaction is underlining in how the person talks and treats my adopted child. If they have been around and know that we adopted them from foster care they assume they were abused. They treat them like a VICTIM (Oh, you poor child syndrome)! NO! they are not! Let me use the example of our Father in Heaven who rescued us by adoption…we are no longer in bondage with Satan! Romans 6:11, “So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.” Romans 6:14, “For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law, but under grace.” Neither are these kids in bondage to being victims. As Christians we want to (Lord please forgive us!) go back to our old master and so do these kids want to relish in the old feelings of what they think is control and also self-pity. My job as mom is to teach them how to change old behaviors, heal from the past, to count blessing, and look to see where God is working in their life. Some of those ways seem weird to others. My children will not be victims, but victors over the past. We look forward and count our blessings. I do not want my children to be defined as a lost sinner or as a victim. I want them to be a Child of the King and victorious in this life.

Third I have gotten a lot of questions and comments about my weight loss. Many of the questions are how I lost about 57 pounds. Just so you know if you find them I do not want them back! It is easy for me to answer Weight Watchers, but that is only the tool God has used for His glory. Today I went to go to my weigh in. I only have a few more pounds to get to the top of the range for my weight goal. I was praying and again giving back to God what He has done when it hit me all the things I have gone through in this past year with the weight loss. I started to just cry out to Him and give Him the glory. This process started when I realized I struggled with self-control in my eating. I want to be woman that can control myself and be that example for my kids! God has done some amazing work by teaching my how to control and change habits and have endurance. This endurance comes from reliance on Him when the desire for weight loss at times does not come. The physical changes are wonderful: much smaller clothes, more energy, some medical issues gone, and just feeling better. However, I treasure the closer relationship with my Heavenly Father much more. Yes the physical changes are great, but they are just a bonus to the spiritual changes that have been going on.  Thank you, my God, for an amazing husband to love me no matter what I look like and most importantly for your unfailing love and strength through all this past year’s journey.

Top Ten ways to Survive a Large Family

I thought this would be fun!

Christy’s top ten ways on how to survive a large family:

1. Pray for your kids all the time
2. Invest in toilet paper
3. Plan for extra time to get somewhere
4. Buy food in bulk
5. Clearance sales are the bomb!
6. Pack snacks for shopping trips
7. Family fun nights with pizza is way fun
8. Spend time alone at least once a week
9. Bubble baths (without knocking on the door) releases stress
10. Date nights can rejuvenate and helps in completing sentences!