Oh My, the Questions!

A family of eight we are because of God grace and mercy on each one of the 8. Because we are now classified under the category of large families there have been some interesting insights.

One thing is we get stares now that we are a large family. Every where we go it seems that people are counting the little ducklings I have. What is funny is I did it too and still do except now I do so I can ask the mom for advice. One day we were at McDonalds and I saw a family with 10 kids and I figured she homeschooled, because it was the middle of a school day. So I sought some advice from her. Praise the Lord she was a Christian and really nice. We especially get the stares at restaurants. And when I say stares I am serious. They won’t look away. The older girls hate it. I feel like we are a show. So anytime it happens I have started to make the show interactive. Yes the folks that seem to just continue to stare get included in the drama. I start talking to them and joking around. Pretty soon they start either laughing or decide to stay to themselves with a minimal glace of the eyes. Works for me!

Another interesting insight is the questions. Oh my, the questions!! At first I relished the questions. I don’t know, but some of the same questions over and over can be annoying. Why…well I am still trying to figure it out and learning to handle it gracefully. To be honest a lot of the questions could be stopped by me by not sharing that my younger three are adopted. I try not to share and I usually don’t if the kids are present, because they are my kids no matter if they come from my womb or from my heart. God has it that they look a lot like us too so it is not that obvious.  However, I feel like I need to tell people for a couple of reasons. One is that it puts adoption out there. If some people I know had never said they had adopted I would of never got to learn more about adoption from their godly eyes. Another reason (and this one I need to get over and just deal with) is that the behaviors of the younger three can be out there (and sometime embarrassing) and I feel that I must explain them…that I am having to come to grips with and is another BLOG subject.

When I do share that the kids are adopting I get either two responses… usually. One that hurts is, “You are crazy!” I know it is said in humor, but yet deep down I feel they meant is seriously. Joe and I have just been obedient and it hurts when people say it. If obedient is crazy then I will be crazy for God! Or instead of flat out saying that I am crazy they try to say it a little different, but I feel they mean it in the same way. “I could never do that…you are amazing!” I know you may think that I am wrong here and that is ok, but if someone starts the sentence with a “I could never” then if that person doesn’t think they are crazy/weird/wrong for not doing it then they must think that I am. Yes I am an over thinker, but I get this sooooooooo often with adoption and home schooling. With God all things are possible!

Another question that pops up all the time is if they were foster, domestic, or international adoptions. That I really don’t mind. I guess the question that seems to always follow is a little weird to me, but I think I now have a better come back. The question is, “Were or Are they siblings?” Umm in my mind it doesn’t matter because they are now!  So I say, “They are now!” If this question is asked with them around it pushes the older sisters out of the equation…they feel alienated. They have enough problems not separating themselves and sharing parents… (another BLOG subject)

God wants me to respond in a loving way and I do most of the time, but I just want to share these thoughts to help others to think who is around and what the motivation for asking is. Unfortunately there has been WAY too many times I have asked a question or said something that I just wasn’t thinking how that person may take it or why I was even asking it. My mouth gets in my way toooooooo many times.

Other insights are obvious. Pinching pennies more (learning this one especially this month…everyone is going through a growth spurt and Christmas presents), takes more time to get ready, home schooling is harder, time flies by (really it just was January 2011!), planning is more important, time with husband is more important, and many more. The biggest insight is how faithful and good our God is. I am consumed with His mighty power and love for us. 2011 has seen us go through so much, but in every single joy, sorrow, pain, cry, laugh, fear God has meant it for each member in this large family for his or her GOOD! Thank you my King of kings for all those moments in 2011…even the moments where I am still trying to figure out where the good was, but I have trust in YOU my Rock that it was and will be for Good.

"Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" Psalm 46: 10