Ice Cream!

So this last week was very hard with behaviors with Beth. She has been through a lot in her life and many times acts more like a 2 or 3 year old than a 6 year old. I know one day she will catch up, but only with a lot of love and structure. But how do you show a child that has been hurt and always has her guard up that she can trust, love, and bond with you? (She is REAL good at acting like all is well with the world and that she is just fine.) I have discovered many things trying to build a lasting relationship with her and hopefully still going to learn.

Some things I have learned:

1. Cuddle much, but on my terms to limit her controlling issues.
• This also will help her get past her infant stages that she never got to go through
2. Use a lower, soft voice when disciplining
3. Must be patient: When I get frustrated she will either:
• shut down or
• get agitated
4. Keep reminding her when that "ugly" behavior comes out:
• "No matter what I will still love you!"
5. Get at her level and look into her eyes.
6. Remind her all the time how beautiful she is but God is concerned with her heart.
• This helps with her tendency to REALLY brag.
7. Find what helps her to feel love so she can trust me.

I had to take a photo of this
memory!

Well I think I found the last one! Putting fragments of information together after our adoption was final we believe Beth at the age of three was responsible to feed herself and her brothers. It was mainly sugar items like cereal, pop, and lots of candy. That is why she had bad cavities at age 3. It answers a lot. Every time we would give her a treat she would inhales it. At the beginning we greatly limited her intake. We are not a big candy family, in fact our Halloween candy usually is still around by Easter for that candy. I was more concerned with her getting a weight issue. However, I started to think what if I use this to teach and show love to her. So that is what I am doing. Tonight was amazing. No one was around, but Beth and I. I cuddled with her and told her how I loved her. Then I spoon fed her chocolate chip ice cream while teaching her how to savor the flavor. I had her tell me what she tasted over her tongue. All the time on my lap telling her how I was loving having this time with her as we looked at each other's eyes. What a treasured moment! She didn't want to go to bed tonight and it wasn't because she had to sleep, but that she had to leave me. More of these moments I pray come. Thank you heavenly Father for this moment.