How am I going to RESPOND???

Life is a struggle. God is continually seeking me in areas that I sin and showing me His grace and mercy. Why do I allow these struggles to bring me down? Why do I allow my little world to push me into sin and abandon my Father? Why do I not run to Him in times of struggle, but run to anger, sadness, and/or down right just want to give up?

Can you tell I have been in a struggle lately? God wants me to rely upon Him, but my first reaction is one or the entire list above. God is gracious and keeps seeking me when I don’t seek Him. My struggles are just plain overwhelming at time…or should I say I allow them to overwhelm me.

Sarah is going to community college in the fall for her senior year of High School. Trying to get her done with this year of school is a….challenge. A lot is on her plate. Rachel loves many subjects, but Algebra is not one of them. I feel like a dictator trying to enforce math time. On top of teaching I have two very active boys that will not allow school/teaching to occur at times. I maybe get in one good day of school a week. Hannah is right on schedule with her subjects except for one and Beth is behind like her older sisters.

 I feel a little like drowning…I do not like the feeling. So what do I do? I get overwhelmed. I stand here and look around and don’t know where to even start…did I mention that my house is a mess and I have other pressing matters to attend to also? Then I read where my Father, Creator, King is seeking me even through all this. I have to stop and think “what is it I truly am wanting”…I want more of Him! People may judge me for a messy house or kids that don’t know Algebra, but dog gone it I WANT to know my Heavenly Father that I will spend eternity with! I long for His arms and to learn more of His greatness. I want my children to know and desire Him also. Where are my priorities here on earthly things or heavenly things? I don’t have all the answers to my schooling or children’s behavioral issues, but what I do know is this earth and the desires of this earth is fleeting and totally temporal. My struggles are temporal! I want to make the best of my time here on earth for His kingdom. I am a missionary to my kids, husband and the friends God places me with. How am I going to respond?