Expectations...

Warning (this was written without checking typos!)

Expectations. We all have them. We have expectations of how someone should act. That our spouse, parent, or friend to know what we are thinking or wanting. There are expectations that our God should do this or that in our lives or someone else life. Hopes are dashed when those expectations are not met. Anger can set in and disappointment in the relationship.

Why? We don’t just develop it come adulthood. It is very evident even in the very young. Many times it comes out as control. I notice this the most in my 7 year old. She will ask for something in such a roundabout way that I don’t know exactly what she is wanting. Like she will tell me a sprinkle got caught in between her tooth and that she got it out. So I’ll say okay. But then her disappointed look that she tries to hide gives me a clue something is wrong. Taking much time and tender questioning I discover she wanted me to kiss her.

Aren't we the same as adults?! We just don’t come out and say what we need or are thinking. Then when someone doesn't do what we wanted we pout. Sometimes I see we hint or skirt around the issues to control someone. Boy do we learn it young. Yet also we hint or skirt because we don’t trust that our needs will be met. Yes our “needs” may not be really a need, but that is how we feel at the time. So we avoid coming right out and saying what we “want” or “need” because we are not trusting the person filling it.

So what is all this jabbering going? My thoughts are this. When we either want to control someone or plain just don’t trust someone it leads us down a path of losing joy.  JOY. We choose to lose joy. So many times we get wrapped up into our wants and needs and forget Who is in charge and knows all. God loves us more than anyone or even more than we can love ourselves! Does He not know our thoughts? Is He not the One who made us?

Psm. 9:10 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Psm. 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
1 Cor. 13: 6-7 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always, hopes, always perseveres.

Need I say more? God is so amazing and is always there for us. How do we get trust then get joy? Could it be as simple as starting with thankfulness to our Father? Really? Well I just read a book by Ann  Voskamp called “One Thousand Gifts” and that is her book in a nutshell. I highly recommend it. I have started really taking more time in my day to tell my Creator that I thank him for so many things. In the process I start to find joy, trust, love. Yes I have really struggled with love for my kids at times. Stopping and thanking God for all the He has done…like beautiful brown eyes, freckles on a face, giggles in the morning, smell of pancakes cooking…God brings us not only JOY during those tough times, but Love for those sometimes hard to love. Yes even those hard to love because of my expectation on how they should act. OK I said it…I expect certain behaviors after I have trained and spent tons of time. But they are human…like me. Thankfulness brings me joy in the moment and love.

Thank you God for your love and joy!

New Path for Our Family...

WOW! It has been awhile since I have written anything. One word: life. MMM that is a little boring. Let me try again….

The morning dawns into a beautiful day. An hour I get to snuggle into my warm comfy chair and study God’s Word and I am washed with sweet peace. I hear the gentle voices of my two boys waking up from a wonderful night’s rest. I go into to my adorable boys’ room and I am greeted with cuddles and the wonderful aroma of clean boys. The older girls get up and greet me with warm hugs and sweet kisses. They go into the kitchen giggling and work together to make breakfast for all of us.

Who am I kidding! Life is….wrestling with the convictions my Bible study does to me, loud noises fill the early morning from pee smelling boys, girls refusing to wake up and yell at each other.  Yes that is life…no fluff here.

The last few months have been hard. Joy. Grace. Mercy. Those three words have been constantly on my mind.

I have really struggled with being a confident, inspiring teacher and loving, attentive mother to all my children. I am exhausted. The challenge of training up teenager girls is in itself is HARD. On top of it being a loving, calm mother to children that not only wear you out physically, but mentally trying to understand why they behave the way they do.

One area in our life that has been very challenging has home-schooling Beth. I could go into how it is challenging and give details of what we have tried. However, I am not going to. What I want to just share with all of you is that we have made a VERY hard decision to send Beth to public school…at least for this semester.

Am I seeking advice…um NO! Joe and I have prayed and have taken lots of time to decide this. We are excited to see where this leads us. Beth is very excited and so am I!

God has showed me how to have joy in all circumstances. This does not mean that I choose every time to have joy. He also has showed me to give myself grace. It is so easy when children are fighting and behaviors seem more than I can bear to put lots of blame on myself. You know I must be doing something wrong if my children are not acting like “so and so’s” kids that seem so sweet. (Key word is “seem”) Please tell me I am not the only one with kids that aren’t perfect? We all have sin…right? Now if I can just grasp always finding the joy in what God has in store for me. This ride may be hard, but in many ways it is surprisingly FUN!

Through all this “life” I have been amazed how Jesus has been showing me the true meanings of joy, grace and mercy. My eyes have really been opening up to seeing the joys in my life, how I can show grace and how people show me grace, and oh the mercy I need!! Lord thank you for showing me and loving me!

View of Adoption from 6 and 4 year olds

So yesterday was Wesley's 2nd year Gotcha Day. Hard to believe it has been two years. All three children are growing up quickly and we are all molding together as a family better each day. I decided to ask David and Beth some questions today to see what their point of view on being a Myers. Wesley still is not talking much so I could not ask him. Enjoy!

I asked Beth these questions:
Me: "What do you like about being adopted?"
Beth: "I like that we get to be a family together. I like sharing a room with my sister and sometimes getting to sleep with her. I like having a house and our new play house outside."
Me: "What do you not like about being adopted?"
Beth: "I like being adopted, it's fun."
Me: "What is fun about it?"
Beth: "I get to play with my brothers and live in our house."
Me: "What makes you happy?"
Beth: "Sharing a room with Hannah."
Me: "What makes you sad?"
Beth: "When I have to go in time out or go to sleep early, because I disobeyed or when I don't get to play with our new playhouse."


I asked David these questions: (keeping a straight face was hard!)
Me: "What do you like about being in this family?"
David: "It is awesome and I like this family. It is so good and God said it is good and He loves us and died for our sins. This world is for God."
Me: "What makes you happy?"
David: "A toy, my brother, sisters, bed, a horse, Winn-a-Pooh, lion, Puffle, Mommy and Daddy."
Me: "What makes you sad?"
David: "When my brother takes my toy and hits me. When daddy is gone to work. When I have a bad dream. When you and Sarah were gone, it made me so sad." That last part was said in a very sad tone.

Bring It On!

What a month! Crazy how time flies and we are now back at school and back into a routine. Ok well kind of into a routine. I have learned so much from my Father this month and have been stretched more than I have wanted at times.

One area of stretching has been in homeschooling. Sarah and I went on an awesome mission trip the first week and ½ in August. We returned and two days later we started back into school. To say the least I have not enjoyed it. It is really challenging to keep little ones quiet while teaching older children Algebra then suddenly switch gears to teach colors or addition. Did I say I am being stretched?

I have had to go to the basics. Why do I teach my children? Why am I not enjoying schooling my children? First my children need a Biblical view of this world. God created the world and everything in it so who better to learn from! Having a Biblical worldview will give them tools to grow. If they embrace the truths joy will be in their future. They will have struggles in this life so if I can teach them how to have peace and joy in them what better gift can a mom give her children?

This brings me to why I am not enjoying homeschooling. I have not given my struggles up to God and sought His wisdom. Wait, did I just admit that out loud? Struggles are inevitable. To make it even more complex is that homeschooling is not an easy road to take, just like being a parent! Some days you wonder if you can look at your children for another second without wanting to cry, scream, and run away. Struggles come. Some struggles are every second of a day and NOTHING gets done like you want. I have had days that every time I turn around someone is in timeout and another I am talking to about behavior…kind of like those revolving doors…I want to get out of those doors!!!!

God is NOT surprised by what is going on. In fact reminding myself, I live in an imperfect world with imperfect children who have an imperfect mom keeps me in the right mind. I want more than this world has to offer! I want to not lose control. I want a peace that surpasses all understanding. When I approach my struggles seeking to see what God is trying to teach me or my children I have that peace.  God loves me and knows what I and my children need to become people of righteousness. We are only here for a short time and in eternity we will have NO struggles. If we must go through struggles to learn how to become people who God will say “Well done, good and faithful servant!” then bring them on! That end result is worth it all. 

My weight loss journey

My before picture taken October 2010

What a journey I have been on for the past year and half. God has done a mighty work in my life teaching me about capturing my thoughts and self-control. Looking back I never realized how much I had incorrect thought processes and also how much I struggled with self-control.

In February of 2011 I had gotten to a point of decision. I was physically having issues with my knees, hip, back, and feet. I was exhausted every day to the point of not wanting to get out of bed, because I was tired and my body hurt. I had gained 10 pounds just with stress of doubling our family overnight. I had my hormones tested and my stress hormone and all other ones along with it were off the chart too high. I knew I had to do something.

With much prayers God guided me to join Weight Watchers. I was nervous and apprehensive when I signed up with my best friend. I didn’t know if I could be successful at losing weight. I know I had lost weight with WW before, but I never kept it off. God used WW and my commitment to study His Word to change my way of thinking. I plunged into my thoughts and was a little shocked at some of the things I was replacing my heavenly Father with…chocolate and other sweets. NOTHING, yes nothing can compare to my Heavenly Father, my Abba, my King. It was an eye opener, yet still difficult to wrap my mind around new way of thinking of how I felt when I ate. Many emotions can trigger bad habits. God came along side of me and taught me many things about Him and my behaviors. At times a feeling of being overwhelmed comes with all the things I need to change, but God is faithful to stand alongside of me and give me strength when I need it and a peace going through it.

My after picture taken today.
Love my bare feet? LOL

Today, more than 70 pounds lighter, I have had no more problems with my knees, hip, or feet. My back has greatly improved too. I have more of a control with my hormones and my energy level is off the roof. I can keep up with my kids and sometimes I just have to jump up and down because I feel so good. I still am not a morning person, but once my feet hit the floor I am looking forward to sitting on my chair or going outside with my dog to study my Father’s words to me. I love those times in the morning now and treasure them!

 I thank God every day and do not want to go back to how I felt and how I replaced my God with food. Yes I had an idol and it was food. My God loved me through it all and came along side of me to encourage me and at times to whip me into shape! He also gave me a wonderful husband to love me unconditionally and to encourage me through this journey and more journeys to come.

This journey has now taking me down another path. I am blessed to be selected for a part-time job with Weight Watchers! I am trying to retain lots of training right now! I love learning how to come alongside other people to encourage them to change their thoughts for a healthy person. I can’t shut up about it and I am looking forward to what lies ahead. I really like many of the WW sayings. One is “Choice not Chance determines your Destiny.” God gives us choices and teaches us what wise choices are. Question is do you make the wise choices or the foolish choices?

Doing Chores

Teaching children how to do chores is SO important. One of the great things is that it builds confidence. To see their little faces when they have done a great job is amazing. Yes there are those time that the job is done with a half the effort and it shows. Those are the times that teaching and maybe an attitude adjustment need to happen. Teaching our children to think of others, take care of self, and have joy in doing work are all God honoring.
The past couple weeks David has taken to folding clothes like a champ. He loves being a helper and honestly it helps tremendously for me to know that things are done. You have to give up the nice and neat rows of folded clothes in the drawer, but it gets done and is out of the hamper and in the drawer! He is only 4, but can do so many things. David has learned to do recycling, vacuum the laminate, dust the baseboards, put away the silverware, and now fold and put away his clothes. He even helps me fold and put away Wesley's! He has joy in working!

Interruptions or Interventions

Isn’t it amazing how you can get so focused on you day to day struggles you forget about the big picture view? God wants us to give our all to the day to day grind, but not to forget why we are doing it. I am guilty. Staying the Word of God is the only way I can remember and meditate on that big picture view.

The things that I struggle with the most are when the children disobey. Here is the thing…I take it personally and get offended that they acted the way they did. You know what I am talking about, those times you have said a million times to not throw toys at people, run in the house, no spitting, wash your hands after going the bathroom, finish the dishes, and even get up you sleepy head it is NOON! (We won’t go there to whom that may be.) Being offended is not the right behavior for me.

My job is to train up and raise warriors for Christ. God never did tell me how long that was going to take or promise me that was going to be easy or that they will choose to listen and follow in obedience! What He does share with me is that He is compassionate, merciful, truthful, loving, just, will never leave me, and that I need to strive to be more like Him every day. Look up Exodus 34:6, Psalms 86:15, Galatians 2: 20, and Hebrews 13:5. So if I was more like Him would I be offended or would I even get angry at Him because I have it rough.

Okay so let me transparent. Never thought this was my issue, but God says it is so I better listen and change my course of action. When we had kids I knew that it would be a life changing event, but my view and God’s view of that life changing event(s) was very different. I also knew there would be struggles. But God knew these struggles would not stop once you think the child “got it”. Few weeks (ok maybe an hour) later they do the same dog gone thing and you again have to spend all the time re-talking, re-disciple, and re-heart ache. Then my angry would once again rear its ugly head, because you’ve been there, that millionth time you have said no don’t touch the fire. I had to take time out of “my” planned day and discipline a child. Stupid, I know, but I would say I was justified in getting angry at them.

What God has revealed to me is that I am getting angry at Him for “my” life not being what I had planned. Those divine interruptions need to be divine interventions. You probably have heard that as parents you have lots of teachable moments…those teachable moments are actually more teachable moments for me! Being a parent is hard work, but it is even harder when I fight with God over how these parenting years should look like. I am tired of having my little adult temper tantrums and want to align myself up with my Father. Sure makes me appreciate Him more!

Joe and I are facing many giants in front us with raising 6 godly children in this fallen world. We don’t know what lies ahead, but together we hold loosely to our expectations and always are on the lookout for opportunities to join God where He is working! We know that every day there are six opportunities! What about you?