It has been a long time since I have updated my blog. God
has been working in the life of my family and in me personally. For almost a
full 8 weeks I did not get a reprieve from a migraine. Some days were very bad
and other days it was tolerable. I have
gone to every doctor and none of the medication they have given me has helped
and in fact has caused more major issues.
My husband and children have been great through all this.
They have seen me through a lot and put up with me not being able to be my normal
self. Now I am learning a new normal. Lately over the counter medications have been
working when I feel one starting. I feel all the time like another one could
come on any minute. Many tests are still being done. I have taken myself off of
dairy and it seems to be helping. The other day I had some dairy and got a
migraine a few hours later.
The exciting thing through all of this is how the Lord has
been working. I feel like he has opened my heart and let me peer into it with
Him. Honestly, it wasn't pretty and my Father showed me some areas I need to
improve in. I've always been a woman who would get things done, always ready to
help wherever, and always doing something. Don’t get me wrong sometimes these
are good, but in my case the motives behind my actions, primarily not glorifying
my Lord, is a concern.
Here is the thing…I would not have been open to listening to
Him if I wasn't knocked off my feet! Yet He is showering me with grace that I
am unwilling at times to give to myself. If we do NOT be still we miss
beautiful music of birds, the feel of velvety ears of a Pug, the awing view of
the radiant Sun, and as for me the loving correction and wise instruction of my
amazing Lord. He has a great purpose in my migraines and if I must endure pain
for this short life than He will give me the strength and joy through it all.
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| "Oh no I'm caught!" |
It is just plain hard being a mom, let alone being one with
six. I have been overwhelmed with responsibilities and pressures from others
and myself. Honestly, I would advise anyone who has older kids to not adopt
three kids at once. Life has been tough. I have learned I’m not perfect and in
some situations I am totally unqualified to handle it. Too many people have
called me “Super Mom” or that I inspire them…only God can inspire you. Thank
you Jesus that He uses me, but please don’t praise me…give glory to God. I say
this because I am just plain weak. God
gives me strength and encourages me and that is the only way I get through. I’m
learning (key word…learning!) to stop having expectations of children’s behaviors
changing and generously shower them and
me with grace.
I’m growing, changing, and excited about it. More and more my
desire is turning towards God and He is showing me that He has work for me.
That work centers around my husband and children. So here I go as a weak
person, not having all the answers, on a journey to glorify my God. I know I
will fall for I am not perfect, but my God is forgiving, faithful and will
graciously pick me up. I must be still to hear my life song!
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